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 Lightbringer, the first chapters.

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Join date : 2012-04-30

PostSubject: Lightbringer, the first chapters.   Wed May 16, 2012 3:22 pm

This is the first chapter in a story I plan on writing about the "War of heaven" which is a theme in many religions.

It starts at chapter 6 i meant 7 for symbolic reasons.

VII- Sowing the seed.
There were three figures on the boat. The first, an old man, stared into the all consuming darkness from the front with his powerful white eyes. He was the father, the all knowing. And he led the party into the darkness of the caverns. The last figure on the boat was cloaked in a veil of darkness and a cloth of black velvet. He stood and piloted the craft through the black waters of the Styx slowly, but inevitably forward. The middle figure was a tall man with blond hair and bright skin. His white clothes illuminated the area around the boat, showing the black, poisonous waters below and the dark infinite area beyond. His whole body brought light, and so he was appropriately named, the light bringer.
“Not far now Kronos.” Said the father in the front. The light bringer tensed his fist in preparation. The dark figure driving the boat kept calmly maneuvering forward.
“I have defeated him before.” The light bringer said. “Why should now be any different.”
“Now you end it.” The father said and the boatman continued to paddle silently. Kronos wondered what brought about the sudden change in his fathers mind. Many times he had warned the light bringer not to venture into the heart Erebus. Many times he had defeated the dark one, in many forms and places, but only now did his father let him venture forth to end it.
“Your own son seams strong.” His father commented once more. “He is keeping his courage in the dark very well.”
“The dark does not bother him.” Kronos said. “Not anymore. Hades has not learned all I have to teach, but I did not choose him as a disciple for nothing. He has natural potential.” His father nodded, the dark figure continued to row the boat without pause.
“Slow the boat.” The father said. Hades the boatman did as he was told, and soon, the ship hit ground with a small jolt. Kronos stood and slowly walked off the wooden boat and onto the ash colored sand. His sandals dug deep into the moist volcanic mixture, but he did not sink. Now, the whole of the light bringers body could be seen. He wore a robe around his waist, but nothing to cover the rest of his body. He came in the form of a modest man, but he was prepared to summon his armor and weapons at any time from the matter around him. His skills made his divine, so much so that his physical body, as bright as it was, was not truly important.
“Be cautious.” His father said. Kronos scoffed. “He will do more then fight you Kronos. You must remain strong. He will try to tempt you.”
“I know father.” Kronos said with a smile. A knowing, yet naive smile his father knew. It was smile that would haunt his dreams for many a year. “This is not the first time I have faced him. He can change himself into a storm, or a serpent, but I can still defeat him. There is nothing he has that he can tempt me with.”
“I know.” The father said. “But never underestimate your enemy.” Kronos wiped the smile from his face, but still wore it on the inside. He would make his father proud today. He was chosen out of his brothers and sisters to kill the beast, and he was going to prove that the choice was not made in vain. There would be no more mercy. It would end here.
He walked away and into the darkness. It smelled like rotting wood and moist coal. As he came up higher on the beach, he met a wall, with a huge cave of entrance. The entrance into Tartaros. Beyond it was a huge bubble of black rock, glass, and obsidian that contained the whole of the area. His own light was all that lit it, but the reflective nature of the volcanic materials allowed it all to be seen in a dark blue reflection from the sparse carbon and silicon in the walls. The round cavern was the creatures home. He felt it. He heard it. He smelled it.
He walked into the center of the room, alone, and tried to locate the demon. The fact that it chose to hide from him made it obvious that there would be no words wasted. Kronos took the matter from the area, little by little, and formed a scythe in his hands, with a blade of glass and carbon for the long shaft. It was his symbol, his weapon. He crouched and was ready for a fight.
He heard a crash behind him, he turned and saw the exit blocked by ruble and a shadow out of the corner of his eyes speeding away. He was silent…
Then he turned and sliced to his side, cutting a shade, a shadow, but not truly the thing itself. It was slippery, and tricky, it was waiting for a chance… waiting for a chance for a silent attack. Or so he thought.
Wile he was preparing to hear the slightest noise, to see the slightest morsel of a form, his ears were shattered and his eyes were blinded by an explosion of energy in the wall of the black bubble he was in. He turned to face the thing and shielded himself, but there was no attack.
He saw it. He saw in the wall, like a moving picture, or a shadow cast from the sun, an inferno that swept all darkness from every corner of the room except for the center of the explosion. In the middle there was an absence, a shadow that changed with the fire, that was simply the lack thereof of light and heat. It was hard then to tell the shape of the thing, it was wolf like, but it seamed to have arms and legs, and it’s eyes were two pits of fire just like the fire around the beast. Other then that… no words could describe it. None could accurately depict how dark the thing was. And it was not violent, it did not attack, not yet, it did not roar, no, it did something so human that Kronos could not help to back away from the unexpected act.
The thing laughed. Not high pitched, not low and earth shattering, but so human, so short and knowing, that Kronos had no other option then to continue to guard himself against an attack that did not come, and then the thing spoke.
“Daemon.” Kronos flinched. His true name. the name given to him by his blood mother and father. The name struck a nerve not because of how deep it was, but because he had thrown away the name for a reason. The thing in front of him grinned, seaming to cross his arms in power as his laughter and one word echoed in the chamber. Knowing the name of Kronos gave him power, but he did not pause after the name, it was as if the word was his attack, and rhetoric was his weapon.
“Oh how you have grown.” The beast mentioned. “But will you ever find redemption in knowledge? Can you ever wipe clean the deeds deep within your soul.” The fiery eyes looked inside of Kronos. “Back in those days aye Daemon? With your sister.” Kronos backed away in shock. He had told no one of his past before becoming an angel. “Can you ever become so great,” The thing continued, “that the death of your sister meant something?” Kronos had had enough. No more mind games. He changed his form, showing the beast his three mighty sets of wings, showing that he was an archangel, the greatest being alive. He showed that he did not desire power. He had all he wanted. There was nothing he could be tempted with.
“Your power is great.” The dark beast said. “But your ‘father’ never taught you about this,” the beast showed a small marble sized ball. He held it between two shadowy claws, between the tips, and inside the glass, there was the face of a familiar girl.
“No” Kronos thought to himself.
“Your sister.” the thing said in powerful words. “I have the power to grab a soul wile it rises and drag it back down Daemon. And the more twisted it is, the easier… suicide Devon.” Kronos stepped back, lowering his weapon. “Suicide let me keep her. Don’t kid yourself, you never moved on.” The beast continued to chuckle, “You always carried a little love for her. You tried to settle it, but in the end, you needed to rationalize.” Kronos tried to keep his mind on where he was. Don’t be distracted…
“Remember Daemon.” The Devil commanded with an outstretched hand. Kronos, eyes wide, could not help but let the thing inside his head.
He was a boy, living with his family, his small tribe. Ignorant of things like words or fire or even tools outside of rocks, they lived a hard life, but a good one. He loved his sister and planned to mate with her in his older years. They had only five members in the tribe, and she was one of two females, but he had felt like there was not a woman of any other tribe like her.
He was a teen, he was weak and small, he never grew strong, his family and another, larger one, fought, and he ran away from the battle in fear. They killed them all except the women. Daemon swore with a howl to find his woman and bring her back.
He was a man, he was rough and sharpened by living alone and tracking those who took his family from him. He found the camp, he found his sister, pregnant, and took her back. He did not care of the shame. It was only the two of them. Her rape was non consequential. At least they were together.
He was a widower, sad and alone, she had committed suicide the next day after rescue. Not before admitting to him the torture she had been subject to by showing her scars. Daemons heart was no more.
He was a murderer. There were ten in the tribe, not including the three babes. He took a stone to each of their heads, and made sure each was dead. Daemon contemplated then weather or not to join his sister in the afterlife.
He was a student. An old man found him and taught him language. He saw promise in the man and taught him how to speak, how to learn, and how to love again. The man became his new father…
He was Kronos.
He pushed the dark thing from his mind and backed away. He was Kronos. He was the light bringer.
“Suicide.” The beast repeated. “Sell your soul, give your life, jump into this fire, and reclaim the life you lost before.” He showed the soul of his sister once more. She was scared, crying, alone. “I am an immortal Daemon. Take my word.” The demon declared, “You will spend all of eternity with her.”
Kronos paused. He couldn’t… it was a trick. It had to be. But in his soul, he knew that this deal was legitimate.
Death was not an option. He looked at the soul in The Devils hands and then at The Devil himself. Kronos took off with his three pairs of wings, all aglow against the red heat of the fire, against the beast. He aimed at the claw in an effort to make him drop the soul. With a sneer of disapproval, the fire went out, the shadow disappeared into blackness and took the soul with him as Kronos’s sliced the air with his glass scythe.
He landed and looked around, his three wings illuminated everything except what lay behind his back, and there as he turned, in the middle of the room, he saw her.
She had long brown hair. A clear face. No cloth covered her body, though in life, her lean body forced her to ware more furs then the others. But there she was. It had been at least a hundred years, but she had not aged a day.
“See, this is what you can have.” He heard the voice of the demon. Then the girl shifted and shook and vibrated and Kronos guarded his body with his wings just in time as a holocaust of flames engulfed the room. In hate and fear, the light bringer opened up his guard and gave out an explosion of light of his own. He saw, for a moment, everything in the large chamber.
There was nothing here anymore, but the explosion had opened a crater in the center of the room. It was a gaping hole in the cavern leading down.
Fire was not the only thing on the beasts arsenal. An immediate chill came in from the hole before he could react. The floor went slick, his body became slow, and something seamed to turn the cavern inwards, making a slope, and pulling Kronos into the hole before he could fight back.
He burnt and crushed away the ice from his wings and body just as he began to fall into a pitch black oblivion. He had fallen into pure darkness except for the fiery hole with the face of the demon below with a gaping, fiery mouth. “Shes right here Devon.” The face of the thing was huge, and Devon could not help but let gravity pull him down and towards the visage of evil incarnate. “Let me pull you in.” The face spoke with its enormous burning grin, “Let go, and enjoy immortality with the one you love.” The beast opened its jaws wide and inside he saw the image of his sister, falling, spiraling, winding down. Devon was wrought with indecision. He came closer and closer to the fiery pit that had opened up in the darkness. He kept pace with his falling sister, his tormented sister.
He could not lose her again. He dived just as he reached the brink of the hole. He set his wings on pushing him down, he barely held on to his weapon as reached out his hand and followed his sister down the tormented path downwards. The fire tried to slow him down, the fire was every ware. Reality it’s self was fuel, and it was only Daemons powers that kept himself safe from its greedy attacks. But even his power could not hold back the full power of the burning heart of the beast. The belly of the demon tried to dissolve him and his beloved, but there she was, he was gaining. He did not care anymore for his own wellbeing, he was going to take this soul and kill the beast. He would grab her and rip the very heart out of the monster.
But he knew he was running out of time. He took a fatal glace back up and saw the jaws of the monster begin to close. He looked back down and saw his lover suffering, just another second or two away. He had to turn back now. But he had to grab the girls soul. She was in a panic, she could not reach out to him.
He grabbed her hand. Just as he was about to lose hope he grabbed her hand. Then, with a yell, he changed directions, single handedly dragging her out of hell, and made a charge for the closing teeth of the beast. Shadowy hands grasped out from the fire, but Daemon dodged them quickly with a flick of his wings. His wings were the fastest in all the heavens, if any angel could to this, it was him. He fought against gravity, the fire, the added weight of the girl slipping from his hand ever so slowly, and the beast himself as Devon pulled and pushed and brought himself back to the closing teeth of the immortal being. His face, his body, his wings, his sister.
Out. They got out as the jaws closed. But they were not safe yet. He continued up with his godly speed and back into the cavernous room up above. He was back on solid ground…
“Ah-ah-ah” The devils voice playfully rang out as his shadowy form appeared from out of the hell hole in the ground and fire engulfed the room once more. “Finders keepers.” The ghoulish claw of the Devil pointed at the girl in Daemons hand and pulled it back to him, but Daemon would not let go. “You can’t pull her out. She belongs to me.” The demon said this, not aggressively, but knowingly, as if explaining a concept to a child. But Daemon would have none of it. With one hand he still held his scythe, and with the other his beloved. “You will die one day Daemon. And when you do you will never see her again. You wont be going where she is going.” With a jolt, she was gone. She slipped away. She slipped from his hands again, and The Devil bit into her and swallowed her whole with snap of his ethereal teeth.
In anger and hate and frustration and denial he took his scythe in both hands and lopped off the beasts head then and there, as it’s neck was up and exposed.
There was no big bang, nor a scream of rage and loss. No, the beast simply dissipated into the other shadows with his defeat. He left in his wake the soul of Daemons beloved, falling down into the abyss below, and a laugh that was much to human.
Daemon reached out for her, but it was too late, she faded away into the darkness as suddenly as she had appeared. And the last laugh went to the devil. Daemon kneeled there for a time, looking down into the hole… no devil inside, but an infinite black oblivion… perhaps something lay beyond it… or perhaps not… maybe that thing he killed was keeping her from a much worse fate… or maybe not…
Daemon got up, he had shed enough tears for her already in years dead and gone. He went to the cave entrance covered in ruble, and easily pushed it over with a burst of light. He stumbled, like a wounded warrior; though there was not a mark on his body.
“Kronos.” He heard a voice. It seamed alien to him, the sound, the voice, the name, all of it. It took a moment for him to remember.
“It is done father.” He said, reaching the boat. The father smiled.
“Yes, I felt it. You did well.” Did he? Did he do well? Daemon was not sure. He had tried to be a hero and a villain and failed to do either. He tried to both kill the devil and make a deal with him, and he was not sure if he did either. He spread himself too thin in indecision.
“You are truly a bringer of light my son.” His father said as his son Hades cast them off. ”You have earned your name, Lucifer.” Daemon cringed as he felt his identity changed, another name given to him by his teacher, his master.
Lucifer. It seamed… powerful

Last edited by Logan on Sun May 20, 2012 11:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Lightbringer, the first chapters.   Sun May 20, 2012 10:15 pm

Parts of this story read like they came fresh out of some ancient myth, and that's pretty cool. I did have a little trouble putting all the different names to the people at first, but a second read-through cleared everything up. Even though they are fairly well-known parts of myths, you may want to elaborate on the river Styx and Erebus a bit. Are they the same as in the Greek myths, or have you put in aspects from other myths as well?
It's a solid chapter, very intense. I'd like to read what happens next!
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PostSubject: Re: Lightbringer, the first chapters.   Sun May 20, 2012 11:38 pm

I was afraid that mixing names would make it harder to get at first glace. Believe it or not, i actually shorted the amount of names here, (The main character is based off of Kronos(greek), Lucifer(also known as the light bringer)(roman) and Set(Egyptian)) all of these divine beings fell from grace and were outcast from the other gods, so i grouped them into one character(as well as giving the character a fifth Original name). I think I will try to make it even more blatant. As Complex as the story is going to be, I still don't want it to be too heavy of a read.

I decided not to expand upon Erebus and the Styx because they were minor parts of the story, in Legend, the Styx would lead into other rivers, and Erebus was the first level of the underworld. As much research as i have put into archetypal geography of mythological places, i have tried my best to limit the amount of time i linger on them. The only real thing the ready needs to know is, "it was super dark." Also, both the Styx and Erebus are shown later to be the only reasonable entrance into the underworld.

I really hope you enjoyed it! i currently have this, and the last chapter done. i don't want to post the last chapter, as you will have no idea what is going on, but i may put the structure of the story in Scraps. as i work on the next chapter.

Also, it starts on the VII(7) chapter, not VI(6). as much as I love roman numerals, they confuse me sometimes... i will be editing that now, and will be posting more soon.
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